Born in Madison, WI, on June 23, 1976, and raised between Hamburg, Michigan, and Kiel, Wisconsin, Kaitlin’s life was one of deep empathy, spiritual wisdom, and service to others. As a Priestess of Cycles, Kaitlin had a rare and profound gift for guiding people through life’s transitions—through song, sacred ceremony, and the holding of space for grief, celebration, and healing. Her presence was steady and radiant, a source of calm and compassion for countless individuals navigating life’s most difficult and meaningful moments.

She is survived by her loving and beloved husband Bruce Johnston; her father Michael Hetzner; her sisters Megan (Terry Andersen) Hetzner and Molly (Ryan) Rabe; parents-in-law Joyce and Craig Johnston, brother and sister-in-law Ross Johnston and Rachel Winstedt; nieces and nephews Azure, Zane (Iyanla Rivera), and Winter Tinkle, and Harper and Gavin Johnston-Winstedt; and great-nephew Ivíca Sol Lokahi Rivera-Tinkle. She is also survived by her chosen family and dear friends in the Earthaven Ecovillage community, where she found connection, purpose, and home.

Kaitlin was preceded in death by her beloved son Rowan Kavanaugh Lindsay Johnston, her mother Nora Lindsay Hetzner, maternal grandparents Kenneth and Rosalie Lindsay, and paternal grandparents Hugo and Jean Hetzner.

A ceremony in honor of Kaitlin’s life was held at Earthaven Ecovillage on Saturday, August 9. All who were touched by her light are welcome to gather, sing, grieve, and celebrate the extraordinary soul she was and will continue to be in spirit. For more about how we do home funerals and burials, see Home Funerals, Green Burials, which will be presented live online on November 2, 2025.

In lieu of flowers, please consider contributing to one of these great causes in Kaitlin’s memory:

• Earthaven Ecovillage, her community
• The Temple of Diana Inc., of which Kaitlin was clergy
• Donate to a scholarship for the Midwest Women’s Herbal Conference
• GoFundMe for supporting Bruce after the sudden loss of Kaitlin

More from Kaitlin:

• Creating Ritual with Kaitlin Ilya Wolf podcast
• Growing Red Tents or Women’s Circles recording of an online workshop

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Kimchi Rylander came into my life 10 years ago at the Southeastern Permaculture gathering in Celo, NC. In the last year of her life, we were on “The Divine Feminine” committee for the gathering and when we met she would share her perspective, saying, “This is not ‘my cancer,’ this is ‘our cancer’ and what is playing out in my body is what is being done to our momma Earth!”

When she received the terminal diagnosis, she said, “I’m dying and the cancer has spread throughout my body. So I want to work on dying well and supporting a positive death-ing culture.” I still remember feeling such awe and inspiration, mixed with sadness and curiosity.

A few other examples of how Kimchi held up the light of her wildly creative heart in the face of death and said, “I’m going out with style!”:

– She decided to have a “give-away” because it was so important to her to share the stories of each precious object that might live beyond her.

– She created a “Guess which day Kimchi will croak?!” raffle, the proceeds going towards positive education about death.

I was blessed to be a part of a loving transition team as a death doula during her final weeks at Earthaven. As the cancer took over her body, she spoke much less, and when she did speak it was softer and slower. During one visit with friends she said, “It’s all about love; really, it’s all about love.” She was visited by a river of loved ones who were eager to share their gratitude and love with her.

Kimchi found comfort in being able to walk on her own until the day before her transition. She also wanted to send out a community voicemail I wrote down for her: “It’s time for me to go, and I’ve had a wonderful time in this play box of life. I was happy to do things together, but I have new projects awaiting me….”

left: Kimchi’s funeral procession.

Kimchi passed surrounded by loving witnesses, holding her sister Bridget’s hand. Her body was planted back into the Earth she loved so much on the exact day of her 56th birthday. In her honor, a song group continues to gather to send support during the 9-month Gestation Period some believe it takes to die and travel to the Land of the Ancestors.

above: At Kimchi’s orchard gravesite.

May we long remember the ways Kimchi challenged and inspired us, feel more alive as we remember the unique expression of her life, and sing gratefully and often in her memory.

Earthaven neighbor Sarah Anne Amazon is a dedicated meditator who loves to attend extended retreats, including with prisoners, and to support the little people for a better world. She also loves Nature, cooking, dancing, singing and NVC.

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All it takes is a few hours out in town or on the road to re-realize how differently we live out here at Earthaven. So many basics of daily life are different; time is different. Priorities have to be different—so we’ve made quite a bit of room in our relationships and organizational expectations for a slower pace, whenever possible. Committed to an environmentally responsible lifestyle, while staying in touch with our world, we need extra time for details this less automated life requires.

We need time to nourish our relationships, neighbors included, as we learn they’re what make the whole experience hum. Needing all this time means showing up late is less the affront we thought it was!

(left) Johnny McLeod, Julie McMahan and their respective young’uns chilling at the Hamlet playground, midday and midweek.

Two: Living in Place

We live in a beautiful forest! The majority of our land is protected by a forestry plan that seeks to nurture forest health and create mutual benefits into the future.

That means most land around our homes is undeveloped and designed to stay that way. We can walk trails and find new ones, discovering spots that touch us in almost mystical ways. Though we aren’t all farmers or gardeners, we live close to those who farm and garden. They’re our stars, bringing blessings to land and table, helping us live closer to the nature they care for.

Three: Living in Space

Blessing number three is the significant amount of open space. It’s not a National Forest or a private wilderness, but veer off the roads in any direction to encounter a spacious shift in perspective.

Ever lie down on the Earth and look up at the night sky? Aren’t people all over the globe also looking “up?”—in other words, isn’t “up” everywhere? Starry nights at Earthaven are a particular invitation to reach out and sense the spaciousness all around us, all the way to the edge of the cosmos!

Most of us at Earthaven are descendants of non-indigenous people (to this continent and even this area), which means we’ve become unrooted in our very bones, unlike the way folks in the land of their ancestors feel connected to place. But we are learning. Our bodies and natural minds become more connected to the land every day, season by season, year by year.

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On November 14 & 15, a cluster of our village family and friends joined over a hundred people in Asheville for a Grief Ritual with Sobonfu Somé, sponsored by the School of Integrated Living (SOIL). Sobonfu is a gifted spiritual teacher from the Dagara tradition of Burkina Faso. This was the second time we were able to work with her.

It was especially enriching this year to share the ritual space with over 20 people from our extended village. We have woven together a life complete with broken dreams, shared losses, the hardships of living together, and the collective longing for a better world.

Sobonfu led the drumming and song that announced it was time to grieve. We created three altars: one for the ancestors, one for forgiveness, and one for grief. Each of us placed something on the grief altar to symbolize our grief. While grievers mourned, witnesses stood near and supported each one, as did the musicians and singers. Together we became a village with specific roles that made the grief ritual as powerful as it was. All in all, the message was—we cannot do this alone.

During the day, some of us reached out to each other, feeling the comfort and safety of being held in another’s arms. Being witnessed as we grieve is a powerful medicine, which breaks the spell of entrenched isolation and separation in modern culture that so often keeps us from reaching out. At the close of the ritual, Mana McLeod and Chris Farmer, both of Earthaven, had the honor of burying the grief bundle. I burst with emotion as the group thanked and welcomed them back in. It left me dreaming of a time when we are all welcomed with the same collective gratitude!

At the close of this ritual, my heart was so open; I felt such gratitude for the experiment called Earthaven.

Kimchi Rylander is an artist, deep ecologist, and permaculture activist who has been Earthaven’s Firekeeper for the last two years. Her grandest artistic endeavor is building a resilient ecovillage with 60 other cultural creatives at Earthaven. When she is not chair caning, you’ll find her in the forest harvesting a fresh batch of nettles and chickweed. Connect with Kimchi by email at kimchi-at-earthaven.org.

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Our annual Ancestors Feast brings members, residents, friends and neighbors together in the Council Hall to highlight stories of beloved friends, family and teachers who have gone before us.

When we all gather for a feast in the Council Hall, it takes all our tables arranged in a tight crescent to fit us around the altar. We get to mix with folks we may not see much of. At one table, Aidan sat next to (clockwise) Amelie, who sat next to Chuck who was across from Mary, Dorien, Sue and Geoff. Earlier, we sat silently in a contemplative mood of pictures of our ancestors and our memories of them.

The Ancestors Feast is a unique and treasured annual event many of us look forward to each yer. We offer a special bow of appreciation to Kaitlin Johnston for organizing such a beautiful and sacred event for us!

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Why a grief ritual?

We all experience pain and loss in life – conflict, illness, disappointed dreams, broken relationships, loved ones who die or suffer, even inherited or ancestral pain…. Having healthful ways to release that pain and regularly cleanse that space inside ourselves, helps prevent that old pain from smothering our creativity, our joy, and our ability to connect with others. Its impact affects our health, and can even kill us.

One way to work on this is to participate in a grief ritual, such as the kind Sobonfu Somé leads according to her own tradition from Burkina Faso, West Africa. This ritual is a transformational, soul-invigorating ceremony designed to break through cultural barriers to experiencing grief.

Periodically feeling and expressing grief in order to purge hurtful and painful experiences provides enormous emotional relief. In a culture where endemic suppression and denial of grief has been linked to life crises in all realms—spiritual, mental, emotional and physical, to begin to regain a serious and lasting connectedness with ourselves and with spirit, we need to find a proper place to release our grief.

The traditional Dagara of Burkina Faso conduct their ritual of grief regularly in different parts of the tribe, releasing tensions caused by loss and restoring continuity in relationships. What community can’t benefit when its members learn to honor and move through life’s harder moments?

The School of Integrated Living is honored to sponsor Sobonfu Somé in November, coming to Western North Carolina to facilitate a grief ritual. She brings a timely message about the importance of spirit, community, and ritual in our lives.

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Silent meditation before the altar with photos of ancestors and mentors.

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